currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Randomize
