It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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