dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
