I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
