his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your dick twin last night
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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