I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
