I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
