Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
