I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
