i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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