Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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