I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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