peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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