HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
