ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
