Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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