guys are not supposed to queef...right?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
