Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.