oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE