Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.