Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
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All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
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I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people