never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
this boner is exhausting
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
