Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
