wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
