put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
