i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
