i think my mom watched the whole time
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
