another moral hangover. fuck.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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