Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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