my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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