12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
