I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
