the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
