he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
