Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
this just has baby written all over it
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
