so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Randomize