cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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