Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
not ubering you a puppy
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