Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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