You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
If that was your dad, he is hot
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
