"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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