He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
