I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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