its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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