the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
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