i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
