all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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