she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
