she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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