And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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