watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
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