i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize