Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I smell stomach acid.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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