lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Im part way to drunk.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
