dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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