I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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