The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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