no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
