When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
