I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize