Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
