it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
