If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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