Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
