Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
