Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
